Mindfulness and parenting: teaching and living our values with our kids

“A child’s mind is not a container to be filled but rather a fire to be kindled” – Dorothea Brande

As parents, we hold a really important role in our children’s lives. We are the ones who comfort them when they’re scared, who help them in seeing the world and making sense of the things they don’t understand, who make them nutritious food, who bring them places and organize playdates, and who celebrate with them all the little and big moments that show us that they are becoming bigger, stronger, and wiser. We all want our kids to grow up and to be people who are kind and who treat others with respect. No matter how young they are, by living our values and teaching them about life, about people, and about what really matters, we are shaping their view and perspective on the world. What are the things you want your kids to know and the values you want to instill in them?

Everyone is different in terms of the things they value most and the things they want their kids to understand, to live by, and to hold as important, valuable and meaningful. We hold important knowledge and wisdom that we can pass along to our kids and sometimes we’re good at showing up the way we want to and other times we may fall short and contradict ourselves, and we’ve all been there. Whether it’s said out loud or not, we are teaching our kids everyday about what matters by the very way that we show up in the world, the things we say about ourselves and others, the things we do or decide not to do. Be proud of who you are as a person and a parent and know that your kids don’t need a perfect parent but rather a real one. In fact, they learn more about who you are as a person than what you try to teach them.

These are just some examples of values that some parents may share and ways of living those values and passing them along to your little ones (many other great ones could have been included here which I won’t elaborate on but some I’d add are integrity, authenticity and caring for the planet and all living things). I hope if anything this inspires you to reflect on your own values, to be proud of the things you do to live by them, and come up with some other creative ideas with your family on how you can do more of what really matters to you:

Kindness, respect and generosity: We do this by showing our kids the importance of saying please and thank you, of sharing with other kids, of being respectful of their elders and people’s differing ideas, beliefs and feelings. And teaching empathy, to put yourself in others' shoes and treat others the way you’d want to be treated. When it comes to generosity, I’ve seen parents teach it in creative ways – buying a food item on a regular basis to donate to the local food bank, asking for donations to a charity rather than a birthday gift, and involving their kids in an annual charity event or volunteering with them when they’re older at a soup kitchen during the holidays.

Tradition and culture : I was raised in a French-Canadian family in Ontario and some of the traditional meals I had growing up, such as ham served with pineapple on top, tourtiere and “petes de Soeurs” – are things that fellow French-Canadians may also recall from their childhood and they bring back memories. Sharing meals and traditions with your kids can teach them about culture. Personally, I’m a huge fan of traditions with family and friends that our son also looks forward to, for example we just went on our annual outing with friends to Saunders Farm and in the weeks and months ahead we look forward to apple picking, Trick or treating and going with one of his aunties to the holiday train in November.

Creativity, art and expression: Getting crafty is certainly not just for kids. In our new community, I love how the Aylmer Arts Council has outdoor art activities for kids at the Old Aylmer’s farmer’s market. There is also so many subscription services that allow parents to bring the craft ideas and supplies literally to their doors (we’re a huge fan of Kiwi Co’s Koala Crate). Art takes many forms, not just visual arts. Our son’s daycare has a theatre class during the winter months which I think is wonderful. My son and I love doing crafts and personally I enjoy doing collages, photography, writing and home design.

Disconnecting from technology, being mindful and getting outdoors: Kids are exposed to so many screens these days and they miss the opportunity to share valuable quality time with family and friends and to discover and create things. My favorite games are the ones our son comes up with and seeing him outdoors, finding items he wants to use for a craft or living mindfully, noticing the little things around him and appreciating this moment and the laughter we get to share in together when we pull away from technology.

Embracing diversity: We are so fortunate to live in a country where we can meet people from different backgrounds, race, culture, gender and sexual identity and learn from their stories, experiences and wisdom. I want my son to embrace everyone, regardless of what makes us different and what makes us the same. I want to help him demystify myths and stereotypes. I value diversity and I value authenticity and living your truth, being proud of your culture and learning from one another.

Determination: I’m always setting goals for myself and truly believe that we are always learning, always growing and becoming a better version of ourselves. I want our son to know that his dreams matter and that he can be anything he wants to be. I value learning and discovery and the importance of working hard, valuing education and never giving up on your dreams. Whether work-related or not, we all need to know that we are the ones who can make our dreams come true and we need to believe in ourselves. I believe in the importance of building healthy self-esteem in kids and that the little things we say can have an impact on how they see themselves, their value and their ability to conquer their dreams or never even try.