How becoming a mom changed my life (and my mind)

I used to have this idea of how I wanted to be as a mom. Patient, empathetic, always ready to go on adventures, not too strict, not too lenient, communicating with our child down to his or her level and providing guidance and direction while building trust and connection.

While I strive for this and I think I do a pretty ok job, when I first become a mom I had this strong feeling that I needed to make sure everything was in balance, all the time, and I got lost in it, feeling like I couldn’t keep up. A clean home, home cooked meals every night, constant activities and playgroups. I learned something incredibly valuable with time – our son didn’t need constant stimulation or for the house to be spotless or for every meal to be made from scratch, he needed me.

Being a good mom is all about giving him my full attention, being curious and interested in what he's exploring and discovering and giving him love, empathy and keeping him safe. The most powerful and empowering thing I did was let go of unrealistic expectations for myself. Now I have space to breathe, and more time with our son, because I’m not so caught up in never-ending cleaning. I build a routine in my day for cleaning, but I don’t push beyond it, meaning that our house is never really perfect, but who said it should be? Because I love cooking, a lot of things are homemade, but a lot of things aren’t. I strive for balance – room for the work to happen, and room for the fun to happen. This lesson about balance has allowed me to stop rushing and this calmer, more laid-back nature has been evident in all aspects of my life which makes me much more present to everything and everyone.

Some of the lessons I learned from motherhood (so far):

-Curiosity can enrich your life. Being more present, mindful and curious about the world as if “seeing it through a child’s eyes” creates a sense of wonder we often lose in adulthood (unless we rebuild it).

-By slowing down and being creative rather than always having a set plan, the best memories often emerge

-Motherhood can make you reassess your values and make you reflect on what is really important. And this provides lots of opportunity for positive realignment in your life and growth.

-There is nothing better at the end of the day than a good cuddle with your kids

What have been the most powerful lessons you learned through parenthood? Or through your nieces, nephews, grandchildren, kids you’ve worked with?