Finding meaning

Living purposefully is about living with intention. Having goals, looking forward, feeling alive. Oscar Wilde’s famous quote resonates a lot with me when I think of the difference between living purposefully and just being: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all”.

Meaning is often brought up when we talk about purposeful living. Meaning comes from developing the best in you and contributing to something bigger than you. For many people I’ve talked to, it’s about finding something (a career, a volunteer opportunity, a hobby or activity to spend their time on) that provides a sense of fulfillment and that aligns with their values. That contributes also to a sense of flow (where you lose sense of time) or transcendence. Emily Esfahani Smith (Author of “The Power of Meaning: Crafting a life that matters”) describes transcendence as those rare moments when your sense of self fades away (1). It is one of the 4 building blocks to a meaningful life, which she describes in her book - they are connection, purpose, transcendence and storytelling (1).

“A great conversation” is actually what I chose for my new e-mail address about a year ago when I was changing accounts. Connection with others and that sense of belonging to people who accept you as you are is so important. After all, if someone sees mainly your faults rather than your strengths or wants to try and change you into who they wish you were, that crushes self-esteem and provides very little feeling of freedom and growth. Story telling is an interesting one because in telling your story, you can chose how you provide meaning to the things that have happen to you in your life. And as the author explains, the stories we tell ourselves about our lives influence how we actually see our lives.

Meaning-making is something that I’ve always been intrigued by. How we make meaning of the things in our world and give meaning to things we experience. It can be a great thing, people recognizing their strengths and giving meaning to good events or turning bad events into something that made them even more resilient or created new opportunities for change. It can also be a harmful one when people blame themselves for things that happen in their lives or felt that it was a punishment and therefore carry that guilt with them.

When I think of the starting line for the path to a meaningful and purposeful life, I think it begins above all by looking at what your values are and what strengths you have that can benefit others. For me, family and friends has always been a big value, as has being outdoors and connected to nature, working with kids and providing support to people going through challenging life situations. What is of most value to you and what are strengths that you have that could benefit others and your community?